I thought that stars only come out at night
Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004, 2:01 p.m.

Hola!

Boy do I have the biggest friggin' headache in the entire universe. I've been popping pills all night and day and nothing. No relief in sight. My face is starting to hurt, eyes are hurting, everything seems blurry, pain is shooting up my neck and cramping in my hands and fingers. I am starting to feel like I am 90. I missed school yet again today due to this nonsense. No way I can drive a car when I am seeing stars during the day. Nothing like looking around and seeing these little sparkly bullshits. They used to only happen when I was about to black out, or coming to.... but now it's whenever. Ugh! I was supposed to go into work but that isn't going to happen either. Of course, I have worked so much unpaid overtime that they better not even think about chastising me for not going.

Ashley has been a doll all week, tending to my crazy needs... covering me up as I drift in and out of sleep all day long. At times I feel so drugged up ... I think I am actually looking forward to whatever they plan on doing to me tomorrow and Thursday and Friday. My mind is going crazy trying to figure out what could be wrong. What is this? What could be ailing my body like this, at 30? Tomorrow, is step one, well actually step 2473639 in my mission for a cure. I am looking forward to seeing this doctor!! Ashley offered to call and see if they could fit me in today but I did not think that was fair. I should have let him call.

Ok, moving on from that dreadful subject... What did I do yesterday? I truly don't remember. Another effect of whatever this is... My short term memory is jacked up. And everyone knows I have a memory from out of this world. Not now! I can barely remember what happens from one moment to the next. I walk down the hall to get something from the kitchen and midway I have to stop and ask myself what I was doing. Where was I going? Hell if I know. I guess it is a good thing I don't cook these days. Back to yesterday...

I read a lot and relaxed. Reading is a lot easier on my eyes (surprisingly). My TV was on but I don't know what I was watching. Nothing of interest obviously. I think that is a first.

Ashley had a goal day. He was here, taking care of me, and got some things done in the garden. I haven't gone outside in forever. I do look out often and it sure looks pretty. Hopefully, things will take a turn and I will feel well enough to sit out back with the dogs.

Yesterday is starting to come back to me. They canceled the upcoming TRiO trip and Ashley was livid. It's been a while since I have seen him this mad. I can not believe how stupid things are getting in that department. It's a disappointment. I am really reconsidering staying on there as an employee. I'll have to worry about that later though.

I watched General Hospital yesterday, as I am today... and it is driving me INSANE! I hate this bullshit show. First Sonny and Carly split up... she is with Alcazar and he is with Sam... uh huh... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Faith Rosco is the worst actress in the world. Now Nicolas or whatever his name is, has amnesia living in some cabin the woods with some psycho. And what is the deal with this chick? How is she so mentally challenged that she can lie like that? Talk about an expert. And where does she get the money to live out there? How does she get groceries? WTF? Next she will tie him to the bed and break his ankles so he can�t escape. Oh wait, that is Misery!! Which is how I am feeling about this storyline! I can not stand what they are doing to this show. The one soap I had hoped would stay true to its viewers. Oh well, I might as well turn to Days and watch Marlena kill off half the town... Or Passions. I haven't watched that in over a year but I bet you a million bucks, nothing has changed. Kay is still lusting after Miguel who wants Charity. Theresa is lusting over Ethan who is with Gwen who hates Theresa and plotting to make her pay because she knows Ethan really loves Theresa. Ivy still wants Graces husband (can't remember his name.) Luis and Sheridan still are in love but yet not together. I wonder how many times they have "killed" her off. We still have yet to see Senior Cranes face... Ok, enough of that. My point is, nothing has changed. I think I will watch tomorrow to see what is up.

My eyes are really starting to hurt now, so until later

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