Dr. Psycho and his toolbelt
Thursday, Apr. 01, 2004, 8:55 p.m.

Hello World...

Once again, I have started and The Apprentice is about to come on. Why oh why do I do this? Oh well, I am going to keep on typing until something BIG happens.

Let's see what has been going on since my last visit here? I was home for the week, recuperating. I actually feel so much better today. I woke up this morning with plans on going to the doctor, but I was so overcome with nausea that I ended up staying in bed. My head was pounding and I felt like total shit. I think Ash was glad that I chose to stay in because he was really tired and really did not want to get up at 8 in the morning. I finally got up at 11:30ish and headed to town with Ash. I’ll skip all of that.

What else? OH!! How in the hell could I forget? I went to the see Dr. Evil yesterday. He had the title of neurologist, but it felt more like I was entering into some 1960’s back alley abortion clinic. And I am not kidding. We walked in and immediately sensed something was wrong with this place. They have all of these sockets along the middle of the wall… the seats were stained and dirty. The receptionist stood at one of those half doors… it was friggin’ bizarre. I almost fell over. We had to wait for 45 minutes to see this quack!! When he finally came out, he did not offer any apologies or anything. We went down this ‘hallway’ and into a room with paper on the windows. It was awful. He then sat us down and started talking about what was wrong. He went in this idiotic circle repeating the same thing over and over again. He could barely hear us so when we spoke he would lean forward and say, “Huh?” Well damn mofo, if you can’t hear, move closer. Midway during this eval, he excused himself and came back with WHITEOUT! He then proceeded to white out whatever he had written. Ash and I were both like, wtf???

After he talked to me for 30 minutes, he asked that I remove my clothing and sit on this table, no that table, no this one… well, that one. I swear, that is what he did. Man, pick one and let’s move on. He finally settled on the shorter of the two. I said, ok… cool. I changed clothes, he returned and started this awful examination. His tools were broken and dirty, he could not check my eyes because the instrument was not working. With this broken instrument he kept telling me to look straight… dead on… do not move my eye. Now you’d think there would be something dead on to look at, but there wasn’t. Before me were some 1974 curtains. Psycadelic and wavy. I couldn’t stare at ONE thing. What was he thinking? Well, that wasn’t working so he went to check my ears, and took this alcohol swab and wiped down the ear piece. I almost fell off the table. Well, if that wasn’t bad enough, I then had to deal with his hot, funky breath. Jesus, get a mint buddy!

He then did some odd crap…. Yanking on my legs and pushing my hands, hitting my knees and elbows. It was annoying!! I felt like kicking him. He tried to check my eyes again, ended up mumbling something, shrugged, looked at it and put it up. By now, we are really like, hmmmmm… OOOOOOOOOOK! He told me to get dressed and he would come back with his diagnosis. Oh ok… like I am going to listen to anything he has to say.

His diagnosis was migraines. I was having a bad migraine which was triggering memory loss and back outs. Hmmmmm. Yeah. He gave me an Rx which I will not even go fill because I wouldn’t trust this man as far as I could throw him. He wants me to come back in a month for a follow-up. Umm, no. He did not say good bye or nothing. Told us to go to the waiting room and that was the last I saw of him. I was in that hellhole for 2 hours… and left knowing nothing more than when I went in there.

Ash was really taken aback by it all. He came home and started trying to get info about this man, but so far has come up with nothing. I guess tomorrow he is going to call our insurance company and ask for some credentials and then a referral to go somewhere else.

I also made the mistake of stopping by my work… My boss pissed me off. Which reminded me as to why I don’t share personal info with the people I work for.

That was my yesterday. An awful visit to 1960.

Today, has been pretty drama free. I am happy and feeling much better. Looking forward to getting my life back… and in that I am contemplating quitting my job.

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