Change of Heart
Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2004, 10:43 p.m.

I have moved... visit my new site over at http://infertileme.typepad.com. However, you can still read today's entry below.

Today, we also received an extremely long list of Social Workers (SW) from the state. The list is so long and incomprehensible. They have it divided in sections and I haven't a clue what each section means or why it looks that way. To make matters worse, the list is from 1999!! Ashley said he would sit down in and call every person on the list if he had to. He started calling around today and in that short period of time he found the SW of my dreams.

I truly could not ask for a better SW. She seems to be on the same wave length as us, and is very kind. She knows a lot about adopting from China and what all needs to be done. She doesn't believe in doing credit checks and thinks that a family who has endured some financial struggles in the past will have a better awareness of maintaining their finances now. Talk about taking to words right out of my mouth. She was so down-to-earth, and REAL! That is the kind of SW we need to come into my house, because Ashley and I are a mess. We are loud and obnoxious. We love people and talking and asking questions. We are just happy happy people. That might catch some people off guard. However, she comes with a huge price tag. I know that we need to have a SW who works with a non-profit agency and this particular SW works with agency that charges TWENTY-TWO HUNDRED dollars. That is just the agency fee. The SW only charges 850 dollars which is about what I wanted to pay. Ugh... how friggin annoying is that? I have half a mind to call the agency and ask them can they lower the price a bit. I am trying to get a homestudy done, not finance a car. Ashley told me not to worry because he is going to call the rest of the names on the list. If no one comes close to the SW we spoke to today, then we'll have to pay the 3k they want.

Other than that, nothing else is really going on. I hit CD 49 today.... still tapping my foot wondering wtf Mister Cottontail took off to. My luck it will appear right in the middle of my trip to Georgia. That is just what I need, me PMSing while trying to convince my parents to hand over half of their life-savings. (Yeah right, more like .02% of it.)

The Real World is about to come on, so I am going to call it a night. I need some rest so I can get back on track and get Victoria home. Last night, Ashley said that the whole experience was so phenomenal to him. Somewhere out there is our daughter. She may be already born or currently being conceived. To hear him speak those words made me so giddy. I guess there is not backing out now, not that I want to. Yesterday I may have been torn, but now, I am doing it... There is no way I am going to have a change of heart. No way.

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